Friday, November 17, 2017

v/a - pump up the volume: the complete soundtrack

label: mca records
released: 1990

this isn't the commercially available version of the soundtrack.

a few years back someone had went and combined the movie's score and every song played during the movie and released it.

maybe this could be called: the bigger than a baby's arm version.

don't act as if you haven't seen this movie more than a dozen times.
you were just looking for some stamps,right?
also: christian slater's hair.

there's been a time in your life where you wanted to have your very own radio station that you'd run out a small room in your parent's basement.
admit it.
but you weren't able to because it was being used for something else and the door was always locked.
and there's 3 locks on that door.
and they didn't let you go into the basement after that one time....

but i digress....

there's been a point in everyone's life where they wanted to have their own radio station so they could show off their kick-ass taste in music.
because you know chicks really dig it when you rant on and on and on about that single from that band that was only released in iceland and that after they split up members of that band went on and started this band and this band and their bassist now plays in this band....


1 - cliff martinez - opening titles
2 - leonard cohen - everybody knows
3 - cliff martinez - parental concern/signs of need
4 - richard hell & the voidoids - love comes in spurts
5 - cliff martinez - snooping in dad's office/school again/saved by the bell
6 - ice-t - girls l.g.b.n.a.f.
7 - descendents - weinerschnitzel
8 - beastie boys - the scenario
9 - cliff martinez - signed serious
10 - cowboy junkies - me and the devil blues*
11 - above the law - freedom of speech
12 - chagall guevara - tale o' the twister
13 - stan ridgway - talk hard
14 - cliff martinez - news of malcolm's suicide/checking the mail
15 - leonard cohen - if it be your will
16 - cliff martinez - harry regrets
17 - cliff martinez - go crazy
18 - bad brains w/ henry rollins - kick out the jams**
19 - cliff martinez - signed confused
20 - pixies - wave of mutilation (uk surf)
21 - sonic youth - titanium expose
22 - cliff martinez - impending meeting/police seize mailbox
23 - peter murphy - i've got a miniature secret camera
24 - cliff martinez - traced phone call
25 - ivan neville - why can't i fall in love
26 - cliff martinez - budding love
27 - cliff martinez - teacher snoops/the fcc arrives/harry goes remote
28 - soundgarden - heretic
29 - cliff martinez - harry & nora
30 - concrete blonde - everybody knows***
31 - (was) not was - hello dad,i'm in jail
32 - cliff martinez - evading fcc pt.1
33 - urban dance squad - fast lane
34 - cliff martinez - evading fcc pt.2/capture
35 - liquid jesus - stand

*=robert johnson cover
**=mc5 cover
***=leonard cohen cover

Pt. 1

Pt. 2

black sabbath - sabotage

label: warner brothers
released: 1975

"you can't trust anyone that doesn't like the first 6 black sabbath albums." -someone

i'll agree with that as this is the last album i have any sort of interest in when it comes to any of the incarnations of the band.
and yes.
that's includes any of the dio era.
just go on ahead and wipe that look off of your face.
that's right.
i said it.
accept that shit,kid.
but with all of that being said i do enjoy the song "hard road" from the NEVER SAY DIE! album.

my interest in the black sabbath arts started in the 5th grade when the PARANOID album entered my radar. all i'd really known about them was that ozzy osbourne sang for them once upon a time. i'd already been into the BLIZZARD OF OZZ/DIARY OF A MADMAN/BARK AT THE MOON/THE ULTIMATE SIN albums so i figured "why not?"....

and seeing as how we're on the subject of ozzy albums i'd like to mention that the only reason to listen to the NO REST FOR THE WICKED album is the song "fire in the sky".
it was pretty decent when i'd first started listening to it.
but the more i listened to it the more i started to lose interest.
"d-d-d-devil's daughter/i'm watching you/watching you"
"i am the demon alcohol/i'll get you (insert evil laugh here)"*
and then there's "crazy babies".
there's just something lacking in the lyrics department on this album.
and then there's all of zakk wylde's "dun dun dundundun weeeee whiddly weeee" guitars.
i know.
i'm rambling.
i could've just said "no,sir. i just don't enjoy that album." and called it a day.
but sometimes i just say things.
if you still dig the album....
good for you.
someone has to.
though you're probably the type of person that still talks about all of the parties you went to back in high school with a glazed look in your eyes.
i'm looking at you,brad.
and if you happen to be of the female persuasion and dig this album you probably still talk about all of those parties back in high school where you wished that you could've scored with brad but just watched him from across the room while becky rubbed up against him like a cat in heat.
that slut!

but i digress.....

i'd become aware of black sabbath via the PARANOID album back in grade school. my parents didn't really know what to make of my choices in music then. i was bringing slayer and metallica and the like into the house. though i do remember one time when i'd been listening to PARANOID out in the garage on my boom box while i was trying to practice some sweet skateboard moves and my dad walked by while the song "paranoid" was on and i was getting ready for him to be all like "get that shit outta my garage!" but he just walked by and looked over and gave me a look that said "yeah. i totally used to listen to this stuff when i was over there in nam."

after PARANOID i started trying to get my hands on anything black sabbath. and all of that practically happened in a day because i'd found most of their stuff on cassette at a store and somehow convinced my grandmother to get them for me because "all they cost is $3.99,gramma."

SABOTAGE is like black sabbath listening to an album by yes and being all like "hey,man. we can do that,man."

and i'm just going to assume that you've already given this album a listen at sometime during your life so i'm not going to have to say things like "at the time there wasn't another song out there like "symptom of the universe". that song was pretty much the first thrash metal song,bro." or "the fucking riffs are all over this album,bro!" or "geezer butler,bro. fucking "the writ",bro." or "yeah. SABOTAGE perfectly melds their SELF-TITLED album and the VOL. 4 album together."

and there you have it.
my ramblings on SABOTAGE.
thanks for playing along.

one last thing: the one thing that bothers me about this album is the fact that the band didn't call it SABBOTAGE. just think. someone could've smoked alot of pot the day they'd went out and bought the record and then brought it home and then put it on the turntable and dropped the needle and then "hole in the sky" hit and they would've been all like "whoa!" while staring that the album cover trying to figure it all out and then they would've stared at the album's title and then it would've hit him and he would've said something like "fuckin' black fuckin' sabbath,man. i see what you did there and fuckin' dig it! and then he would've placed the album cover on the table next to the stereo and started to play some air guitar and then there'd be a BAM! BAM! BAM! on his bedroom door and his stepdad telling him to "turn that shit down! i gotta work tonight and i need to sleep!" and then he would've been all like "fuck you,man." under his breath as he turns the volume knob on the stereo to the right and then sits on the foot of his bed just spacing out and then he thinks to himself "sleep? sleep. that would be a pretty kick-ass name for a band,man."


Thursday, November 16, 2017

sausage - riddles are abound tonight

label: prawn song
released: 1994

fun fact: this band once received an "honorable mention" ribbon for their participation in a primus sound-alike contest.


moist host - moist host

label: butter flavored records
released: 2004

during my time in south dakota i became aware of a few local bands.
this being one of them.
i'd never seen them live but i was given this cd by the band's bassist/vocals guy.
he was then a member of a band called south mouth.
i'd seem them.
they were a bunch of fun guys.
they were one of those bands that were all like "what? you have a band out on tour and you'd like to make a stop in this town? in. this. town? our town? you want to do your thing in front of a group of people in our town? sure. why not. that could be fun. but we have to go on before you. it's the only way you're going to go over in this town. i don't care if you are metallica. no one has even heard of you. "what the fuck is metallica?" they're saying. you want that exposure? we're the way in,bro. get it? got it? good."
that town being sioux falls.
but we're not here to discuss south mouth.
we want to talk about moist host,yeah?
moist host.
that's right.
moist and host.
paints quite the picture,dunnit?
it paints pictures that you don't really want to see.
you're all like "that's nice,gramma." while not really even looking at it.
"i call this one "special olympic girls gone wild" she says.
"i haven't had near enough cough medicine for this." you find yourself thinking.
"this is going to be a long weekend." you're thinking.
"and i call this one "hot pandering crustaceous rectal dentistry." she says.
you just glance over at her and then notice the dish filled with candy on the table between you.
you take a handful and shove it into your mouth.
"what the fuck kind of candy is this?" you're thinking.
and then you start flipping through the channels until you happen upon an episode of FRIENDS.
"and this one is called "dick and seymore butkus."
you nod.
and then you start to feel something.
and suddenly you're inside the coffee house.
but no one is paying any attention to you.
how can they not see you?
you're sitting on that couch.
what the fuck,FRIENDS!.
why isn't anyone buying you cup of coffee?
why isn't anyone buying you a muffin?
and then chandler looks at you and says "could the hot crustaceous rectal dentistry be any more pandering?"
what is happening?
what the fuck is happening?!
why can't i wake-

so if you're down with tunes like some arab on radar or early blood brothers or come combatwoundedveteran or some men's recovery system or some nomeansno or some spazz or those sounds you'd hear coming from the stall next to you at any truck stop....


Wednesday, November 15, 2017

life sex & death - the silent majority

label: reprise records
released: 1992

how do you feel about alice in chains?
what about cheap trick?
what about early van halen?
look at me.
not the album cover.
eyes over here.
come on.
how do you feel about those bands?
take some "it ain't like that" by alice in chains and mix in some "surrender" by cheap trick and some "unchained" by van halen.
y'know what i'm getting at?
stop making eyes at the album cover.
does she look like she'd be into you at all?
she digs me.
just ask her.
i know there's something covering her mouth.
you'll just have to take my word on that.
i win.
what was that?
she only digs me because she doesn't have to look at me?
i don't have to take any of this abuse.
don't you have some homework that needs to be done?
your mom will be home soon and you know how she gets,bro.
i'm just trying to look out for you.
get on that.
you want her to have to go and have another meeting with that teacher of yours?
she'll have to take time off of work.
you know how she just loves doing that.
and now if you'll excuse us....
molly wants to watch me play the air drums along with "in the air tonight" out in the den.
her name is molly.
she she totally thinks i rock more than you.
she told me.
how can she say-
that's it.
you're spending this weekend cleaning out the garage.


v/a - corporate death: a relapse multi death compilation

label: relapse records
released: 1993

"another relapse records compilation? fuck yeah! my day just got a whole lot better! i'm not going to work tonight! someone else can drop that food into the fryer! fuck! yeah! and now i'm gonna go tell my stepdad that he can't tell me what to do! those fucking gutters can clean themselves! oh man! i've gotta call doug! there's gonna be a fucking party tonight,bro! shit! i just wet my pants! mooooooooooom!"

1 - candiru - opaque sun
2 - amorphis - exile of the sons of uisliu
3 - incantation - emaciated holy figure
4 - general surgery - crimson concerto
5 - exit-13 - societally provoked genocidal contemplation
6 - dead world - dead world
7 - convulse - crying back yesterday
8 - mortician - embalmed alive
9 - diSEMBOWELMENT - your prophetic throne of ivory
10 - candiru - angles
11 - anal cunt - radio hit
12 - deceased - robotic village
13 - disrupt - religion is a fraud
14 - macabre - embalmer
15 - repulsion - the stench of burning death
16 - exit-13 - diet for a new america
17 - incantation - unholy massacre
18 - phobia - sickening discreation (live)
19 - mortician - hacked up for barbecue
20 - disrupt - mind lock
21 - convulse - memories
22 - anal cunt - chump change
23 - mortician - abolition
24 - anal cunt - unbelieveable
25 - suffocation - human waste
26 - repulsion - maggots in your coffin
27 - macabre - serial killer
28 - disrupt - same old shit
29 - general surgery  - an orgy of flying limbs & gore


Tuesday, November 14, 2017

empires - through trial & tribulation comes triumph

label: saw her ghost records
released: 2006

i'd seen these fellas open for jucifer in sioux falls,sd back when this album came out.
when they took the stage i was sitting at a table next to jucifer's merch booth.
i was there with my then girlfriend and i was telling her of my journey through the crowd as i was making my way back from the bar with my soda and i'd run into ed livengood (aka the other person in jucifer) and we were talking and i was all like "hey,man? you want anything from the bar?" and he was all like "no,man. i'm good. you want somethin'?" and i was all like "already got somethin'." and then i was all like "how many times are you going to play yourself off of your stool tonight?" and he laughed and was all like "see ya later." and took off.
i'd seen jucifer a few times before that (the previous time was at the place we were currently in) and he'd always manage to almost fall off of whatever he'd be sitting on while he'd be playing.

but i digress....

i'd been sitting at the table when empires started.
and by the time they ended their set i was standing near the stage.
they weren't half bad.
they reminded me alot of pelican and neurosis a little bit.
i bought this album at the show.
the next day i put the cd into the stereo and i hit the play button.
and then i hit the skip button.
and then i hit it again.
and then i hit it again.
the pelican was still there.
the neurosis wasn't.
it left me a little underwhelmed.
but they were picked to open for jucifer for a reason,yeah?
maybe they're just one of those bands that need to be experienced live.
i don't know.
maybe i was a little tired.
i'd tossed and turned most of the previous night kicking myself for not taking ed up on his offer.
why the fuck did i turn that down?
what the fuck,bro.
i could've been all like "sure. a bag of chips would be pretty sweet."
i could've been all like "sure. i'll take some beef jerky."
and then i could've come back home and told all of the cats "hey,cats! guess who bought me [insert item here]. fucking ed fucking livengood. yeah. we're totally besties now. meownvy me,fuckers!"
what could've been.


Monday, November 13, 2017

v/a - contaminated 5.0

label: relapse records
released: 2003

the year was 2003 and i was right in front of the stage at the ybor city,fl stop of the relapse records NORTH AMERICAN CONTAMINATION TOUR. it was all going down at the orpheum. i'd been to a few shows there since i'd moved into the area. i'd seen cky. i'd seen atom and his package. i'd seen jucifer. but the difference is that i'd never come close to being decapitated at any of those shows.....

dysrhythmia opened it all up.
and then there was uphill battle.
and then there was mastodon.

and then came the clusterfuck that is the band cephalic carnage.

i was right up front.
right against the stage.
it had been a pretty good night.
and then cephalic carnage took the stage.
i'd been looking forward to this.
i needed to see their drummer in a live setting.
everything was fucking awesome.
and then came the song "pseudo".
everything was going fucking apeshit as expected.
and then came a lull in the action.
and then it happened.
it's as if someone wound him up again.
if you know the song then you know what i'm talking about.
if you don't know the song you're doing it wrong.
the guitar stock was turned into a weapon.
i turned my head to the left and that's when i came to notice that it had stopped about a foot away from my head before being whipped away in the other direction.
i still wake up screaming in the middle of the day.
i don't wanna talk about it anymore.
i know.
blah blah blah.
good story,grampa.
now go and fetch me my nyQuil.

the listing of the tracks



v/a - bring you to your knees: a tribute to guns n' roses

label: law of inertia
released 2004

i'm going to need you to admit something to me.
i'm going to need you to admit that you've listened to APPETITE FOR DESTRUCTION and liked it.
i'm going to need you to admit that while listening to it you stood in front of a floor length mirror and did "the axl".
come on now.
you know what that is.
would it help you to know that once upon a time i borrowed a copy of it on cassette from out of a cousin's car?
and then i totally forgot to give it back.
and it's not like she even knew it was gone.
there were so many tapes in that car.
and i wasn't about to borrow anything by winger or cinderella or whatever else that was in there.
not this fella.
so yeah.
as for me ever doing "the axl"....
that may or may not have ever happened.
it all depends on which camera feed you decide to watch.
but we're not here to talk about me,man.
we're here to talk about that copy of USE YOUR ILLUSION II that i see over on that table there.
i see it.
and that just means that there's a copy of USE YOUR ILLUSION I somewhere around here and i'm just not comfortable with being in the same room as all of that business.
good day,citizen.
i'm on my way to the bandana store.

1 - zombie apocalypse - welcome to the jungle
2 - haste - you're crazy
3 - vaux - 14 years
4 - unearth - it's so easy
5 - break the silence - nightrain
6 - death by stereo - anything goes
7 - most precious blood - sweet child o' mine
8 - time in malta - november rain
9 - the dillinger escape plan - my michelle
10 - eighteen visions - paradise city
11 - every time i die - i used to love her
12 - god forbid - out ta get me
13 - bleeding through - rocket queen
14 - the beautiful mistake - estranged


Friday, November 10, 2017

v/a - contaminated 3.0

label: relapse records
released: 2000

relapse records and i go way back.
they were the ones that exposed me to all kinds of bands.
human remains.
pig destroyer.
soilent green.
good times.
i would religiously read their catalog.
i'd mark an "x" next to what i'd want and then leave the catalog out for grindcore santa.
there is a grindcore santa.
if he doesn't exist then who was eating the cookies and drinking the beer i'd leave out?
no one else had a key to my apartment.
what's his name had a key....
that sonofabitch!
it's ok.
i knew his mother.
totally warranted.

the listing of tracks


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